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It’s Us Not Them
Anytime a firefighter is killed in this country |
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By Gerry Shannon, Director | ||||
| Anger is the extreme disturbance to peace of mind and body.
I recently returned from three weeks in Thailand a land in which displays of anger are not a show of strength but rather weakness and lack of self-control. Wisdom is watching emotions arise as sensations, and to practice power over them by not acting them out. It is considered a sign of maturity. Anger is always a second emotion, proceeded by either fear or hurt. Those who have restraint don’t need to express anger, as does a child, prone on the floor kicking and screaming to draw attention to his displeasure, passing on their suffering to those around them. Controlling one’s emotions is a worthy achievement that comes with practice and delivers us from bondage, not to mention sparing those around us. Some are attached to anger; it is a familiar product of our upbringing. We have a hard time |
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| seeing the harm being done with this verbal and sometimes physical abuse. A truly confident person doesn’t need to effect those around them with their dis-ease, that is, not at ease with one’s self, as their contribution to society.
To be self-restrained in all places is a blessing at all times. A truly kind person spares others their anger, not withstanding what its aggravation does to the holder, who feels the world is unjust. They cannot maintain a calm mind, so to alleviate their suffering, they must spread it, usually with a domino effect. We never liberate ourselves from suffering by expressing anger in this unhealthy manner. Very little true communication starts with...”I’m angry with you”. When anger is expressed verbally, it just creates defenses before a dialogue starts. So we ask ourselves, when did this anger start? Have I always carried it? Did something trigger this feeling a long time ago? We can usually trace today’s anger back to our childhood, which is why the reaction mirrors this, meaning, acting out your anger is child-like behavior. Just remembering the earliest inception of this particular resentment may help to focus on why this created such a strong emotion and help control our acting out. Think of our children, observing us as their role models, watching us handle frustration and anger in a healthy manner. Handling anger and frustration in a mature way enables them to recreate our positive behavior and thus creating more harmony in their lives. We have an opportunity to pass on ease and control, or harsh and unyielding behavior to our children. The world and the futures of our children are being created by our behavior now. Visualize our homes and the workplace without loud expressions of disapproval, anger and resentment. Take a moment to think of how our anger affects others and promotes dis-ease. Self-control is an attribute of the wise and strong. |
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